Experiencing the Heavenly Father’s love 

I was in a perpetual frustrated state from late morning to evening because I was kind of upset with the outcome of the interview in the morning. 

I was hoping that I could pursue a social work admin job in that Organization. However they didn’t have the vacancy and instead they offer me a temporary job related to sales and marketing. I told them I will think about it first. I was conflicted deep within because that job was never what I had in mind and I will never be interested in it. I wondered if I am putting my will above God’s will. I prayed to God for a clear answer which didn’t come clearly at first but gradually it became clearer in the afternoon as I seek for peace in His word. No, I won’t settle for less than God’s best for me and I believe that God will grant me the desires of my heart. I will not enter a job where I have no interest at all. 

I got frustrated also because I was impatient with my own progress. However as I mediated on Romans 8:28-39, the striving and anxiousness of my heart went away as I choose to replace it with my trust in God. 

As evening came and my dad came back from work. God has been commanding me to love my family especially my dad. As I went out for dinner with my dad, God told me to look at my dad not as a scary person but as a person who loves me too. As I start obeying God in that, my heart softens and i just felt like crying. But I manage to hide it all the way until I’m back home in my room. I know that God is doing a new work in this area. 

As I sit in my room and listening to worship songs, I told God to help me receive more grace because I’m really bad at it. I sense the love of God just came over me immediately with a gentle voice in my heart that says I love you, I know everything that has been going on and I’m pleased with you. I’m pleased whenever you take one small step of obedience. I see your heart, I receive your love. You don’t have to strive so hard, you just need to quiet down and listen to my voice that is already inside of you. 

I felt so so relieved and loved. There is always this feeling of condemnation whenever I didn’t obey God. Although I know it in my head that I’m forgiven and His love is unconditional, it’s not a living reality in my heart. 
Today is the first time in a long while that I experience God’s love in my heart, not my head, not me repeating this to myself. Help me Lord to receive your grace everyday, I want to hear you Everyday. 

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Samuel Heng
    Oct 11, 2016 @ 13:34:50

    Remember Zoe as you experience God’s love – love of Father God, surrender your heart to God, you can trust Him. He will receive it gently, heal and restore and return back to you stronger than ever before.
    1 Jn 3:20 = “for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.”

    Reply

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