Learning to have no expectations and be thankful

As i turn 21 this year, i would not say that i am fully mature. But i have learnt some stuff due to experiences and my perspective on certain things have changed.

One major lesson i learnt as i grew up along the way: Don’t tie your self worth to anyone. Don’t depend on people’s compliments to feel secure. Through all the bullying and other bad experiences i had been through in the past, i have learnt that people are fickle and are not consistent all the time. I used to have certain expectations on what a friend or family member should be like when i was younger because i was taught that way. Example: Like how a mum should be doing this and bla bla. So i feel really disappointed when it does not happen, it is like a contradiction to my mental image. I used to pin my hopes on certain people to give me love because of all these idealized images in my head. It is normal for me to think this way naturally because society works this way.

But now i am letting go of all these idealized images. Not that i become cynical. It is because i realized that everybody is not perfect. I can’t be getting bitter and hurt over all this. It is not going to help me in the long run. Of course i still want to be loved by others but i do not expect it anymore. Mainly because of the unconditional love and grace of God, that i can do this. I experienced God’s love well enough that i am secure and confident because of Him. I do not need to depend on the approval of people anymore. Instead when i receive love from others, i will think of it as something to be thankful for, not something to be expected. I will treat each kind and loving gesture from others as a form of blessing. My perspective becomes wider when i think of it this way.I will not be that offended easily. It helps me to become more thankful. I will continue to do my best each day, not taking things for granted and be a blessing to others instead.

Recently i attended a brain workshop in church conducted by a psychologist professor and pastor. He mentioned that many people have mental problems because they have problems letting go of things. People have problems letting go of anger, people, relationships which resulted in mental problems because their thoughts are confined to those things. I learnt that being offended and choosing to stay offended only brings more harm then good for it creates bitterness, constricts people’s thoughts and creating other problems which didn’t exist in the first place.

So i am learning to let go. I do not want my life to be filled with thoughts of the past on certain people or certain issues. I want to fully live in the present and be a joyful person. After all life is short, my dreams are not yet fulfilled and i want to make the best of each day to bring myself closer to it.


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