Brief thoughts on LGBT

Personal opinion here.
President Obama has legalised same sex marriages across America today and it marks a global shift in societal thinking. Personally I am not against LGBT couples but I am dismayed by this decision. Especially to do that when the country is known to be a Christian nation. 
I am not against people who professes themselves to be gay or lesbian and I don’t judge them. There are valid reasons for who they are and no other human beings should condemn or even judge them. Only God have the right to judge. I am against those self-righteous people who take law into their own hands and oppress these people unfairly for no one have the rights to do that. There are so many accounts of gays or lesbians being oppressed because of their identity and some even committed suicide and it’s simply terrible. 
According to the Christian faith, we do not support same sex marriages because God has clearly said in the Bible that He is against it. God created man and woman for each other ( in a sexual way) and it is never meant to be any other way. And if somebody goes down the wrong path, we are to love the person unconditionally and gently guide the person back to the right path ( Galatians 6:1) This is our stance. Therefore I am personally appalled when self-righteous people take things into their own hands and make Christians out to be terrible people through their selfish acts. 
Loving a person does not mean agreeing with everything a person does. And so as much as I am okay with gays and lesbians, I am not okay with the idea. I just find it saddening to see that America will go down that path especially so because majority of the people there are Christians and the Bible clearly mentioned that God is against it. 
To be honest, I don’t know why God is against it other than it goes against the natural order of things but I believe God has a really good reason for that. I just sit back and observe the impacts it will have on America because this is the first time a country makes it legal and there will be new impacts whether good or bad we don’t know yet. Definitely there will be impacts on other countries as well as LGBT couples in other countries will demand for their rights as well. 
The issue of rights is really a sensitive topic. Everybody should get equal rights to areas like voting, education, healthcare and job opportunitie based merits. Yes I am for that too. Nobody should be denied those privileges because of their identity. It is very similar to the issue of feminism. 
It is fine for LGBT people to live their life quietly and be treated fairly, this is what we should be doing. But I feel that when it becomes legalised, it’s like telling the world that you can have a third alternative when it comes to having a identity. You can be a gay and it is a proper alternative in which I don’t believe that it is an proper alternative. It is like calling a grey area white when it is clearly grey. 
I believe that God did not create people to be like that since he is against it. Yes there is such a thing of having improper balance of hormones which causes a guy to behave more feminine and vice versa. My own take on this is that some people choose to go to that category because they could not find their place anywhere else. For example: A girl liking other girl because they can get along really really well and somehow that affection is more than a friendship affection, near to romantic love and that girl also don’t like guys maybe because she can’t find the same level of affection in guys. And there is such thing as a lesbian category, therefore she calls herself that because she showed similar symptoms. If the lesbian category did not exist, would she call herself that? The sexual desire comes only after she realise that she is a lesbian, isn’t that more of putting on an identity which may not be true but because society has a group for it that is why she is led to think that way.
People usually like each other first based on common interests and personalities for majority of the cases. I won’t deny that there are people who really is already wired to be a gay or lesbian right from when they are born. But how about the rest? Is it a choice because they have bad experiences from the opposite sex or is it a case of identity confusion whereby they group themselves into that category because they cannot find their place in anywhere else? If it’s a bad experience, the person need healing from it and if it’s a case of identify confusion, the person needs guidance.
But then again, not many people will be forthcoming with their answers because these questions are too sensitive. I can only hope and pray that people will be more clear minded on who they truly are in this chaotic society where anything can change. Don’t expect society to give you a clear answer on your identity because it never will. It only labels and messes your life up. 

Praying in tongues

Finally i prayed in tongues today. Praying in tongues is simply praying under the influence of the Holy Spirit, basically speaking in a unknown language. Praying in tongues is a sign of the baptism of the Holy Spirit and more importantly its purpose is to edify ( build up) the individual himself when he is praying. It helps a lot especially in times when the individual wants to present a request or other stuff to God but he/she cannot find the right words. That is when the Holy Spirit inside the believer would step in and help the believer to present the prayer to God in the best way possible even though the believer does not mentally understand the language that he/she is praying in. That is also one of the reasons why it is also a sign of the baptism of the Holy Spirit for you cannot mentally try to pray in tongues based on your efforts or knowledge.

I actually first received the gift of praying in tongues when i was 16, during a altar call of a  church youth camp that i was attending in, However i was not sure whether i really received it because i was thinking that it must be me making it all up by myself and i was afraid that whatever i babble out was just plain nonsense. Even after the camp, i did not practice it because of fear. I did not want anybody else to know that i received it. So i just put it at the backseat, and i thought that i lose it.

However as i grew up in the Lord, i slowly understand the importance of praying in tongues. Praying in tongues helps to edify the individual himself. And i got upset that i sort of lose the gift, but i actually didn’t. For me, there are times when in my heart i can feel the babbling of tongues, like hearing the language but when i try to speak it, often i will find myself stumbling and pausing in between. I spoke to my pastor about this issue and he said that i was in the initial phrase and that i should try to practice more with confidence.

Today afternoon, i prayed to God to help me in this and He answered my prayer. While i am worshiping God and listening to music, i slowly let go of being in control and let God take over. And i did it! It felt so surreal to be honest, even though i do not understand what i am saying but i felt uplifted and being at peace. I know that it is not me trying on my human efforts and i thank God for helping me to get over all those barriers i had in this area.

Now i just need to practice more ( letting God come in and take control) in my prayer life. It feels so good knowing that the deepest areas of my heart is able to communicate clearly to God now because of the Holy Spirit’s guidance. In the past, i will just end up staying quiet and telling God to do it for me because i do not know what to say or i cannot properly express. But now with the Holy Spirit inside me helping me to pray in tongues, i can truly communicate every single thing to Him. ūüôā

Praying in tongues is a step of faith for me. It is a gift for every believer in Christ and i am thankful that God is so patient with me. It took me 5 years for this, but that is because of my own barriers. I am glad that i am kicking down all the barriers i have for God to have his way in me.

Church camp Reflections

Typing this post out in a groggy state thanks to my medicines for my cough and sore throat but i want to share.

This camp helped me to reach a significant milestone personally and all credit goes to God.

I went into the camp needing rest and encouragement badly because i felt that i am running out of energy. My performance for school this semester was not that good because i feel that i did not give my best and i went into some emotional upheaval myself.

The theme for this church camp is moving up to the next level in God and it focuses primarily on the power and characteristics of the Holy Spirit. I was reminded and encouraged once again on what i can do with the Holy Spirit inside me and that God will never leave me no matter what the circumstances are.

More importantly i felt that God has healed me of all my past hurts and i am a new person in Him. It is so impactful to me because i have been struggling to get over my past for the past few years through prayer and forgiveness. Practically i have been making attempts to get over and stopped letting my past hold me back. In this camp i felt God telling me that the past is really all over, its all over. I do not have to think about it anymore or worry that it might resurface again. I felt renewed like i am standing on new ground. All i have to do is to look forward and let God guide me. I am also reassured once again that i am making the right career choice also and my job now is just to go and transform the world with what God has given me.

I thank God for His unending love and mercy upon my life. I can see clearly how God has carried me through my difficult times. That He has kept me close to Him and put me on steady ground and giving me the wisdom to make the right choices when i was in stormy times is really amazing because i could have gone off course. I felt like i am a new person, starting anew on a clean slate and all i really want is to continue to do His will and stay close to God for the rest of my life.  I know that God will take care of every area in my life and all i need to do is to trust Him.

Learning to have no expectations and be thankful

As i turn 21 this year, i would not say that i am fully mature. But i have learnt some stuff due to experiences and my perspective on certain things have changed.

One major lesson i learnt as i grew up along the way: Don’t tie your self worth to anyone. Don’t depend on people’s compliments to feel secure. Through all the bullying and other bad experiences i had been through in the past, i have learnt that people are fickle and are not consistent all the time. I used to have certain expectations on what a friend or family member should be like when i was younger because i was taught that way. Example: Like how a mum should be doing this and bla bla. So i feel really disappointed when it does not happen, it is like a contradiction to my mental image. I used to pin my hopes on certain people to give me love because of all these idealized images in my head. It is normal for me to think this way naturally because society works this way.

But now i am letting go of all these idealized images. Not that i become cynical. It is because i realized that everybody is not perfect. I can’t be getting bitter and hurt over all this. It is not going to help me in the long run. Of course i still want to be loved by others but i do not expect it anymore. Mainly because of the unconditional love and grace of God, that i can do this. I experienced God’s love well enough that i am secure and confident because of Him. I do not need to depend on the approval of people anymore. Instead when i receive love from others, i will think of it as something to be thankful for, not something to be expected. I will treat each kind and loving gesture from others as a form of blessing. My perspective becomes wider when i think of it this way.I will not be that offended easily. It helps me to become more thankful. I will continue to do my best each day, not taking things for granted and be a blessing to others instead.

Recently i attended a brain workshop in church conducted by a psychologist professor and pastor. He mentioned that many people have mental problems because they have problems letting go of things. People have problems letting go of anger, people, relationships which resulted in mental problems because their thoughts are confined to those things. I learnt that being offended and choosing to stay offended only brings more harm then good for it creates bitterness, constricts people’s thoughts and creating other problems which didn’t exist in the first place.

So i am learning to let go. I do not want my life to be filled with thoughts of the past on certain people or certain issues. I want to fully live in the present and be a joyful person. After all life is short, my dreams are not yet fulfilled and i want to make the best of each day to bring myself closer to it.