Jump back into the flow

I have a Type A personality and i am a introvert too. Does it sound contradictory? I doubt so.

Type A people tend to always want to do something and just cannot stay still. I find myself needing to have to find something to do even if i am alone. I just cannot imagine lying on a bed for one whole day and do nothing. During holidays, i will be glad for the first few days that i have no commitments but after that i will start getting really restless and feel that time is passing by so so slowly. I will throw myself into a job that takes up majority of my holidays and regret a bit when school is about to reopen.

I know that being Type A is not really ideal and in fact it takes a toll on my health both physically and emotionally.

In my previous post, i mentioned about trying to do all the work that i can so that i won’t suffer so much during the hectic month of December? Well i still am doing it but now at a much slower pace. I realized i was being too anxious and i will fall ill if i continued on at that pace.

I went to church yesterday as usual. God kind of spoke to me about it indirectly through the sermon. I was trying to do everything at once on my own and i am neglecting myself. Which is really true because i was not feeling happy and satisfied at all. Really bad habit of mine. What more i do not even depend on God at all.

I realized over the years that as i get closer and closer to God, i become more dependent on Him in such a way that if i do not connect with Him for a few days, i will feel unsatisfied inside.  I can only be the best version of myself when i am close to God for after all my life is in His hands.

God wants me to get back into the flow with Him and get restored again. Thank you God for loving me so unconditionally and reminding me to assess my priorities again. I should not be so anxious over temporal things and learn to trust in You.


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