Breaking Point

To be honest i have no idea what is my breaking point.

I reached the tip of it but i have not go over it. And i don’t know what i will do if i went over it.

With all these things happening, i wonder how i still manage to stay sane. I believe God is somehow giving me strength and also i am too self aware of myself.

I wish sometimes that i am less self aware, less mature so that i can do more foolish stuff and made people concern for me. But i know that i am hurting the people who care about me so i can’t do it. Everybody see me as so strong and i really hate it. I do have my limits too but nobody seems to know that. They think i will get over it eventually which i do. But i have to face all of this alone everytime, it sucks really.

I wish people could see the severity of the situation so that they can somehow get the gist of what i am exactly going through. But then i don’t go around telling everybody about it. I don’t wish to burden others. I just vent a bit here and there on twitter but i don’t say everything.

I am indulging in self-pity i know that. That is why i am not doing any of those things i mentioned above. And i really dislike myself for being so self aware. I do not want to go mad just to get people’s attention.

So i just vent here because this is the best option for me. For me to think things clearly. I will get over this phrase i know. But i do wish i have people to be with me whenever i face problems so that i won’t feel so alone.

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