Learning to be certain in God even in an uncertain world

Everything except God is uncertain in the long run.

One small example would be my first day of work today. I was supposed to start work today according to my agency but apparently there was mis-communication between the agency and my manager as she was not in today. So i waited in vain for an hour in the building to only find out that my work is delayed to tomorrow. I was definitely annoyed, and i indulge in mac breakfast to seek some form of comfort haha.  So i have another free day to myself.

I have always like to be in control of my own life. I make sure that whatever actions i do, i know the outcome of that before it even happens. Life has shown me that not everything can be effectively predictable no matter how much i put effort into making it predictable. I invest myself into friendships in which some do not last. I went into a job thinking i am doing HR work, and i did scheduling work instead. It is so easy for me to become cynical when things do not go the way i wanted it to be.

Definitely it is not easy for me to surrender everything to God even though i know that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. The fact of relinquishing control makes me feel insecure. In the past whenever i encounter any problems whether big or small, even though i know that there is a God up there who can help carry some of my burdens, i still stubbornly took on all my burdens myself because of my need of control. As a result, i became mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I thank God that He never changes and He always accept me back when I turn back to Him. It’s like He is opening his arms to me and welcoming me back when I turn back to him even though I upset Him a lot. And as I get closer to Him by praying, reading the bible, I can feel that He is close to me and guiding me to understand Him better. I have better perspectives of things and I have learnt what makes Him happy and sad. I have become more aware of my identity in Him as a child of God and that I do not need to prove my self worth anymore because my self worth is already paid for by Jesus when He die on the cross for my sins. I feel liberated.

This afternoon, I just randomly decided to listen to Christian songs and spend some quiet time worshipping God. I feel really awesome as I was worshipping Him because I sense His presence and His comfort. And I learnt that it is especially important to be certain of God, to have faith in Him no matter how uncertain things may be. Because sometimes it is my lack of faith that stops God from taking action to help me or to fully use me.

Learning to have faith in God in all circumstances is not something that can be picked up overnight. It is a daily effort, day in and out to focus my perspective on God and to see things from His perspective. I believe that it is not fully attainable and I am learning to entrust everything to Him and depend on Him daily for His word and encouragement.

God did not promise us that we will be free from troubles on this earth, but He promise us that He will be with us all the time, to help us in our times of trials as we are slowly transformed into His image. I think that is the best assurance I can get, knowing that He is with me all the time. 🙂

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