Press On

If only it was that easy, that i could have just went ahead with getting a business degree and spent the rest of my life working in business and earning money.

But i know i would be unhappy. for my main desire from my heart is to serve and help people. And i know that it is not going to be easy going this path, i will be challenged emotionally, mentally and even for all i know financially. My heart and my mind is being set on this path and i firmly believe that God has led me to this.

Way back before i took my O levels, i did not ever think about social work or anything related to it. In fact i only think of getting into business because it is common and is the safest path. But then suddenly one day God put this two words into my heart; social enterprise. I went to search for more information about it and i learnt that it is a business with a non-profit cause. Before i gotten back my O level results, i have a few choices in mind. They are: Psychology course at NP, Business and Social Enterprise at NP, Human Resources with Psychology at SP. I did very well for my prelims and with the consistent good results i have been getting and working hard for, i thought i could get into these courses.

But life is just unpredictable, my O level results were totally disappointing. I never thought that it could be that bad, because i had put in my best effort. I was upset and with my score i could not even get in to those courses. I questioned God because if He really wants me to pursue something related to social enterprise then i should have gotten better results to get into the course that He set me for.  In the end, i told God that i will just pursue business with the HR option first and if He really wants me to do something related to social enterprise, maybe i get another opportunity after getting the business diploma.

This desire of mine has been slowly burning at the back of my mind  and in my heart as i do my business diploma in NYP. It is not really possible for me to sustain this desire because i did not even think of it in the first place and HR is really not bad as a career with the money making prospects being there.

Not only has this desire continued to persist but it has even grew stronger as i ended poly. I mentioned about social work to several people and am given some tips about it. There is even a friend who offered to help me get a position to work for in the non profit organization as she knew the director, but i am not close to her personally and do not really like to use connections so i have not approached her.

My heart is at peace now but my mind is raging with all the what if questions. My heart is strangely at peace because i knew that God wanted me to pursue this and i knew that everything will turn out fine eventually. But my mind is not because people around me has been asking me on what i am planning to do. I wish i could give them a definite answer but no i do not have it. All i know is in this gap year before i can qualify to study social work in SIM, i have to get a full time job. Now it is just a matter of what job, should i go try for a social work internship with the pay very low or work with my HR business diploma? I want money but i need the experience as well. I do not know what will happen in the next few years, what more decades because social work is different from business. With business there is predictability, but with social work it is not.

I reach my answer soon but for now i just simply press on.



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