Can finally enjoy the rest of 2013 in peace

My 2 presentations were completed yesterday, it brought me a huge sigh of relief.
Just that i ended one of those 2 in a really awkward mode, i broke out laughing when presenting due to too much nervousness. When i get really nervous, i laugh, so weird right? But anyway so glad that i can enjoy the rest of my favorite month in peace.

The feel of this year is really so much different from last year. I thought 2012 was a maddening rush, but 2013 is even faster. Maybe because i did not really have many holidays and was cooped up either in studying or working so i felt that time passes faster then it should.

Even though it was pretty maddening this year, in terms of friendships, i would say i forge a better bond with my friends (people whom i can trust and open up to). I am happy enough and it is better to keep a small circle of close friends rather than knowing a huge amount of people but 90 per cent of them are mostly acquaintances.

The main challenges that i faced this year are mostly internal struggles with myself. Fear of uncertainty for the future after all i am graduating next May, fear of not being able to live up to my own expectations ( i dissect myself too much) are mostly on my mind. And the solutions for these are not going to just show up overnight, it takes time and the impatient me have to learn to be better towards myself.

Next year is gonna be so different from this year. I do not know what to expect. Even now having to think about what to do after graduation brings me so much headache. But next year i am going to slowly break down the emotional walls that i have built up myself and learn to let go of the past. I will be turning 20 next year, a milestone, a stepping into full adult phrase and there will be so many challenges i will face.

All i have is some faith that i will always get better and stronger after each challenge. And as i get better, i will be able to open up, share more and love more.


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