Whirlpool of emotions

My emotions have been fluctuating since last Saturday, with unusually happy moments and deeply sad moments. And it turns out that it is because of PMS. -.-‘

Last Saturday i attended a workshop in church conducted by Dr Gary McIntosh on overcoming the dark side of leadership. This workshop really provoked me, it kind of made me really look into the dark side of myself and identify certain aspects of myself that i do not like to face. But i have to face in order to overcome it to be a more emotionally healthy person and be the best that i can be. I came to the realization that if i want to help my family to be more emotionally healthier, i have to overcome my own dark side first. It is hard, especially when the greatest enemy is yourself.

I find out that some of my greatest motivations came from my personal dysfunctions. There are pros and cons in this. The advantage is that you will make sure that the particular thing will be done in the best way that you think. However the disadvantage is that you will be forever stuck in the trap of not being able to move on from the personal dysfunction because you are focusing on trying to correct the particular thing forever. Quite difficult to comprehend what i just wrote right? Well i cannot be too honest here, that is why i wrote it this way.

After the workshop, i suddenly wanted to visit the christian bookstore that i have not been since early February this year. The bookstore actually relocated to orchard and so i went there. However when i finally reach, the shop had actually moved out and it is on hiatus. So i felt quite disappointed and with my messed up emotions, i wandered around orchard aimlessly for an hour. Just feeling lost and tired. In the end, i walked myself to Swensons and ate dinner there. I felt like an idiot at that moment.

On Sunday after church service, i took the wrong train accidentally and i only found out when my music player crashed twice in the train. Thank God that He hinted me, i was only 2 stops further away from my starting point.

I made a couple of clumsy mistakes this week in school too, i guess my frame of mind is kind of blur ever since the workshop ended. I need time to confront those issues but i don’t have it now as it is emotionally taxing to do it.

That aside, this week was really fun for me. I played a lot with my friends, had a good time ~

Next week i will be buried with school work, as presentations and reports are due in 2 weeks time.

And life goes on.


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