Trusting The Lord

Money is always a sensitive issue. 

And u start realising that it is sensitive when u start working. Because money is an external reward for your hard work, it is the fruit of your labor. 
The main purpose of me working during the holidays is to earn more money for myself. And it’s just my selfish human nature that feels uncomfortable when my parents expect me to give some to them. Yes I know it’s natural and good that I should give. And I don’t mind giving but I want to give out of my own free will.
My mom expects me to give her and frankly I find it difficult because she do not provide any support to me and always ask me to lend her money. I did give some because I understand her financial situation. But I will not give her anymore, I will help her in other ways. After all I still am a student, I don’t have much income. 
And then my laptop spoiled and its not under warranty. And I have to prepare money to pay for the repairs. I wanted to give my dad money but now I need to set it aside for the repairs. After all it doesn’t make sense that I give him and then later ask him for money to pay for the repairs. 
I learnt from my auntie this morning that he is complaining why I am not giving him money. I just feel so down. It’s not that I don’t wanna give, but I need to set aside money for my repairs and now I feel compelled to give. You know that type of feeling? 
I am going to give him money, in thankfulness for taking care of me financially when I’m growing up.
I’m just feeling a bit sad that I am hearing this kind of things. 
And I’m praying and trusting The Lord to provide for my every need. At the end of the day I hope that I still have enough money to spend and save for myself. I’m just grateful that God hears my every prayer and knows what I’m going through.
Yes things are not that bad like it seems. I need more wisdom and grace to manage my money well. God is faithful and I will become stronger from this.

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