Moments like this

Have you ever have one of those moments when u are mad at someone but u are actually more mad with yourself for being mad at that person?

I do and it’s not awesome. 
Because I feel that I don’t have a right to be mad at that person. 
I may be setting high standards that I expect from that person but actually I’m the only one who will fulfil that standard because I set it myself. 
And so I cannot expect other people to reach the silent standard that I put up for them without them knowing. 
In truth I am harder on myself than on anybody else. I may complain about people but at the end of the day I will be facing myself. 
Being mad about why I’m mad at people is really a heart wrenching moment for me. It’s good to be outspoken but not blunt. Sometimes people prefer to hear the shallow gentle words than the raw emotional truth. 
Sorry if I am too blunt, I cannot hide my feelings. I just need a outlet but I will not be so blunt anymore. I will find another area. All I need actually is just to pour out at that moment and I will feel better and forget about it afterwards. 
When I plunge a knife into someone heart with my words, I actually am plunging two knives into my heart as well. 

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