INFJ

How to love your INFJ?
xxzulaxx:
This thread is for tips for those who have INFJs in their lives, but are not INFJs themselves. I’ve noticed that there are quite a few members here who are looking for this sort of advice, so this is the place to offer it – be the relationships romantic, friendly, professional, or otherwise.

Here are my tips for the Proper Care of Your INFJ if you are in a romantic relationship with us.


1. Your INFJ adores you more than they can express with words. Even if they don’t tell you verbally, they will show you how they feel through their patience, kindness, and willingness to please you.


2. Thank your INFJ with sincere hugs and kisses, and tell us you appreciate the things that we do for you. Just knowing that you’re aware of it is reward enough to keep us overjoyed (and enthusiastically continuing to do all the things you love that we do for you).


3. If an INFJ is in a romantic relationship with you, they consider you their number one priority in life. Your happiness and well being are the most important things in their lives.


4. Your INFJ can sense your emotions even more acutely than if you were telling us with words. We can feel what you are feeling. Don’t be alarmed by this as we will never use it against you. However, this means you can never lie to us. If you try, we will know, it will hurt our feelings badly that you did.


5. We love it when you just walk up to us and hold us. No words. Nothing complicated. Just gently wrap your arms around us and focus on how you feel about us. We can feel it like it is pouring out of you and into us. Don’t be alarmed if we cry when you do this
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6. We love to listen. Don’t be afraid to tell us what is on your mind, even if we didn’t ask. We love you and respect your privacy, and don’t like to pry.


7. We also love it when you listen to us. Please ask us questions to show us that you care, and let us talk when you do. The more intently you are interested in how we feel and what we have to say, the more we will love you.


8. Sometimes we need to recharge our minds, and will sit and stare blankly into space. This is perfectly normal, as your INFJ is rebooting their amazing mind. Systems will be online again shortly.


9. We thrive in an environment with just you, and a few of our closest loved ones. The more opportunities you help us create for these kinds of environments, the happier we will be.


10. We don’t do well in crowds for extended periods. We will join you in them if that’s where you want to go, but please be mindful of the duration of contact. INFJs may become unresponsive and even irritable when exposed to crowds for too long.


11. While we are extremely affectionate with you, we’re generally not interested in being affectionate with anyone else, and physical contact with strangers may unsettle your INFJ. It is best to keep strangers from attempting to pet your INFJ.


12. Your INFJ accepts you for everything you are. However, INFJs can be especially eccentric. If you accept your INFJ’s eccentricities and peculiar interests, this will greatly increase your INFJ’s happiness.


13. INFJs are otherwise very self sufficient low maintenance pets, and can be left to their own little worlds for extended periods. However, infrequent moments of affection are always appreciated.

14. Always kiss your INFJ goodnight and tell them that you love them, even if you’re not going to sleep when they do.


15. Always cuddle with your INFJ when they wake up and greet their day with love.

16. Your INFJ will have a reflex to help others. Do not be alarmed by this, as it does not in any way reflect on how your INFJ feels about you, or your relationship. It is simply our nature to help others – sometimes to a degree that makes the ones we love assume they are less of a priority. Nothing could be further from the truth.


17. Your INFJ is a planner. Sometimes spontaneity leaves us in a position that we cannot plan how to best make you happy, and we find this upsetting. Please understand that we are never upset with you, only the situation.


18. Your INFJ is very idealistic and principled. If you need us to go against our ideals or principles to make you happy, this can cause us a great deal of internal turmoil and tension. Please be mindful of our ideals and principles and avoid asking us to go against them.


19. When an INFJ’s ideals or principles are offended, we will pull away quickly. This may look very similar to our normal modes of being lost in our heads to the untrained eye, as we do not like to cause tension or disharmony. To best care for your INFJ, learn to spot this reaction and quickly make right whatever was wrong, even if it is simply an opinion. This will bring us back to the harmony we need to be our healthiest.


20. No one will ever love you as much as your INFJ.
(Found it here.)

Found it on tumblr, really true

Music is my drug

Music is my drug.

I believe it is for all of us. A place to escape to when the world seems too scary. To find that familiarity or to hear your emotions truly being expressed out in a beautiful manner. All you need to do is to listen. Music affects us more ways then not even if we do not understand the language. The tone and the emotions is more than enough to convey the meaning.

I like Super Junior Kyuhyun for his soothing voice. His voice is really like a blessing from God. Just through that short verse in the beginning of Sorry Sorry, i immediately fall in love with his voice.

One example: Late Autumn

His soothing voice is what captivates me.

I do like other music other then Kpop too but they are mostly old love songs and songs by Taylor Swift. Chinese songs also, but not a lot.

What INFJ wants you to know

Top 10 Things Every INFJ Wants You to Know

10. We are planners
As with many other Judicial personality types, the INFJ enjoys structure and order. Though our intuition can cause our structure to fluctuate, we still thrive best when we can plan out the details of our situations and lives.

Sometimes, however, spontaneity can occur outside of our control. This deeply shakes us and we often respond to this loss of control with anger and frustration. Brandie, over at Little Left of Normal sums it up best when she says, “Sometimes spontaneity leaves us in a position that we cannot plan…, and we find this upsetting. Please understand that we are never upset with you, only the situation.”
9. We are extremely intelligent
 INFJs are introverted thinkers and extroverted feelers. Because of this, we can struggle to articulate our thoughts. While we may, in our minds, be able to answer deep meaningful questions, retain amazing amounts of data and debate with the best of them, when asked to speak aloud, we often fumble, stutter over our words and say a small fraction of what we are actually thinking. This lands us the labels of slow-witted and unintelligent. 

However, when we are comfortable with a person and situation and are given plenty of time to ponder an inquiry or organize our thoughts into words, we can speak fluidly, clearly and passionately on almost any subject.
8. We only need one person Because we are introverts,
 INFJs are completely content being with just one person, whether a partner, friend or family member. When we make friends, it is usually for the long haul and it takes a lot to destroy a relationship. Unlike extroverts or some other introverts, INFJs can spend the rest of our lives with only ever being close to one person and never feel as though we are missing out on other relationships. In fact, we actually prefer it.

When we have many relationships in our lives, we can become easily overwhelmed and feel as though we are not giving our best to each relationship, leading us to feel unhappy, exhausted, and stretched thin.
7. Prolonged solitude kills us.
While some introverts can be all by themselves for every second of the day and feel nothing but contentment, an INFJ needs to be around people. Though we still need time in solitude in order to recharge ourselves, too much time alone can leave us feeling drained, lonely and depressed. INFJs thrive on the emotions of others. We live for bettering others to better ourselves. We cannot do this if we are always by ourselves. When an INFJ does not have a close relationship, they can became depressed and feel empty.
6. We are perfectionists
INFJs are never happy with ourselves. No matter how much an INFJ has improved, there is always room to be better. Often times, we can struggle with relishing in our accomplishments since we continue to focus on where we have fallen short and how we could have done better. It can sometimes frustrate an INFJ to see others complacent with their current selves.

“INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves – there’s always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don’t often take time to revel in their accomplishments…they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families.”
- Portrait of an INFJ, www.personalitypage.com 
“INFJs often feel happiest and most fulfilled when helping others understand themselves and their problems.” – Personality Junkie, INFJ
5. We are socially inept
While many INFJs can practice and put on a good show, most of us struggle with social norms and routines, especially if we see little use for them. Since, as mentioned before, we find it difficult to put our thoughts into words, we can feel uncomfortable being in situations that cause us to interact in a spontaneous manner, such as meeting someone new.

 INFJs spend most of our time thinking through deep and complex matters, therefore shallow and menial conversations of everyday life can confuse and frustrate us. Talks of the weather and local sports are exhausting for us. We would much rather ask for life stories, sincere problems of which we can offer solutions and therapy session-like conversations. When we ask “how are you,” we mean it on the deepest and sincerest possible level.
4. Our label means a lot to us
While every person can be pinpointed as a specific Myers-Briggs Personality Type, INFJs tend to cling to our label as soon as we discover it. As we are the rarest personality type, making up an approximate 2% of the population, we spend most of our lives feeling lost and misunderstood. Once we learn that we are not alone and that there is an explanation as to why we have always felt different, we feel overjoyed and almost “normal.”

Even if the description of an INFJ does not fit us 100%, it still usually offers us a lot of information for which we have spent the majority of our lives searching. Those four little letters can be life-changing to an INFJ.
3. We are very open-minded
INFJs have an amazing ability to think abstractly. In our minds, it is easy to see gray areas and blurred lines. While we tend to have strong principles and passions, an INFJ can usually see another persons point-of-view on any situation. Whenever there is a difference of opinion, an INFJ is very driven to ask questions and seek information about the opposing side in order to understand the different perspective. This part of our personality leads to deep compassion and always giving others the benefit of the doubt.
2. We are warm-hearted
INFJs can outwardly appear cold. Because we tend to be very private and enjoy only opening up to our closest companions, others can see us as cold and detached. This is the furthest from the truth. INFJs are, in fact, extremely warm-hearted and open to everyone around us, but because we are socially inept, we can struggle with making others aware of this. Our compassion knows no limits and we are mostly selfless people. We hope that everyone can open up to us and know that we are there for them, however, we will probably not open up much to them by no fault of their own.
1. Our intuition is real
 INFJs are known for being the most intuitive personality type. We “just know” a lot of information that we can never fully explain. Many sensing types and a few intuitive types cannot fully grasp our level of intuition and easily discredit our knowledge. Without any explanation as to why, we can feel the feelings of everyone around us as deeply as though they were our own.

As An Anonymous INFJ states: “In my experience, the most misunderstood part of an INFJ is how we feel everything those around us feel. We do not sympathize. We do not empathize. We literally feel exactly what you feel. Even if you are trying to hide it or don’t express your feelings, somehow we still know.”

Along with our open-mindedness and compassion, our ability to intuitively feel and sense things around us is a large part of why we can help others so easily. We just know what is best for those around us even if we cannot articulate why.

If you know an INFJ or want to be closer to an INFJ, believing in our intuition is the best thing you can do because it is the biggest part of who we are.

Internship is ending!

9 weeks of Internship is coming to an end this Friday.

I am happy about it because i am finally heading back to school or rather a more flexible schedule in my life. My internship has been a mostly wonderful experience. I learnt many things that is really relevant to my future career if i pursue in HR and even though i do get scolded for my mistakes sometimes, that is where i grow.

Would HR be my future career? Most probably. I am thinking of doing HR in a non profit sector. Not those big companies. I need to find a company whose values and mission is what i believe in too. If not i will find it meaningless and have no passion towards my job.

Nowadays i have become more honest and open up myself more to people that i really trust. Actually i do not have any deep dark secrets. So letting people know more about me is not really that much of an issue. Maybe it is if they use it to manipulate me. But i know my conscience is clear, and if i do get tricked. Well i definitely be hurt and stuff but i know that on my side, i did not fail the person.

I am kind of like an open book. My emotions can be seen clearly mostly. I am never contented with myself, always searching for ways to be better. Maybe because i am the eldest in my family, and having other duties like being a good friend, a good worker. Basically giving the best in all my different roles. So i feel like i cannot relax. I want to be a child again, not knowing that these things exist. Its like a heavy rock that i have to carry and i dont feel like telling anyone about it.

Why is that so? Because firstly i dont want to sound so whiny and burden my friends. Secondly when i am with my friends, i just want to focus on that moment and not on other things.

Yes i do feel alone and so i turn to God. But even so i would still want to find somebody who i can freely share my thoughts with. Not just the good stuff but my worries too. Somebody who would give me good advice and truly understand me for who i am. But it is so hard to find a friend like that.

Friendships. I used to place a great emphasis on that because that the only place i can run to for comfort, for fun, for encouragement. I still put in 100% effort in my friendships however i have learnt to expect less. I cannot expect someone to give me the same level of intensity that i have put in for them. Ever since 2011, i have not found a best friend to confide in. Sure i have good friends, friends that i known since i was young. But not close enough to just contact everyday or find them the minute i feel so down.

I do wanna see myself from another person’s point of view. Then maybe i get to understand why certain things happened.

I force myself to achieve better because i dont want to let my current circumstances stop me from getting what i want. I look up to those who triumph over their circumstances. I know its possible.

Deep down i just want to find somebody that i can freely trust and open up to and more importantly for the person to open up freely to me too. I dont want a one sided friendship where i keep opening up, but i am unable to get the person to do the same back to me. I want to support and help as well.
Praying to God to send me the right person.