again

Can i like forget myself for a day? Forget who i am, the people in my life and be carefree.

Why am i thnking so much, so emotionally vulnerable?

I swear sometimes i feel like i am suffocating.

Having a good memory is not too good. Its like a playlist that rewind since i was in secondary school all the way till now.

One good memory comes with loads of bad memories after that.

I am just condemning myself literally.

I dont feel happy being emotionally cold and emotionless. Not at all. But yet vulnerability at times like this is not ideal.

Nowadays i feel like i am drifting. Trying to gain some weight. I dont like how skinny i am now.
Feel so weak.

Should i just forget that emotions existed. Just use my head for everything. Easier?

Anyway nowadays not everybody i call friend a friend, and those that i really want the friendship somehow left me one by one. Even if i try to get them back, there are too many barriers. It takes 2 hands to clap. So i got one and im waving it to the air.

I better stop now.

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