Review and renew my goals again

The world focus on three P’s which are Power, Pleasure and Possession.
To enjoy pleasure requires power and possession.
A competitive mindset, that there is only one victory spot. That to truly get the best out of life is to be the 1st in everything.

It is very tiring to live with this kind of mindset. Forever suspecting people’s motives and keep worrying.

Recently i had been pretty down and out because i am too attached to myself. Thinking about myself and not letting go of the past. Thinking back on those bad experiences and am insecure. Wondering if i am really that bad to be friends with. Most of the people come and go out of my life within a short period so i really feel upset. Especially these past 2 years,

But i cannot keep going on like this forever. When i get stressed, i hold it in and it starts taking a toll on my health. I lost weight due to loss of appetite and become more tired easily. I am just harming myself basically.

I have to try and try. Try to improve myself, be more optimistic and more joyful. Currently i am in this dry phrase where a day is just a day and nothing more. I got to get back into spending time with God again. For really and truly my energy and determination comes from Him alone. My motivation to live is from Him. Honestly i don’t think i can make it based on my own strength.

I got to think about my future and work towards it. What i want to do in the future is to help others achieve their goals. Social work is one of the options that i can only think of so far. It is quite vague. I want a simple and contented lifestyle. Not sure if business is what i really want because i do not like office politics.

But to help others requires me to help myself first. I have to let go of the past. I will try. It is hard though because the feelings will come back when i am alone. I just pray to God and focus on the present and future, i am sensitive, i admit. One day at a time!

Tomorrow is a new day, lets go!

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