In trouble

I find myself getting emotionally worse as each day pass by. When you finally succumb to reality and know that you are not worth it. With all the past disappointing experiences and the way things are now.

I cannot see the future. I cannot look at the big picture because my heart is too scarred.

I shouldn’t be thinking like this but my heart is too broken for me not to care. I have given too many people the impression that I can handle everything. I thought I could too but nope I am not.

With the way I see if I continue on like this, I wonder if I could live past my birthday .

I got no one to share my woes with. Because I find it hard to verbalise the pain and pressure that I’m feeling. Even if I do, that person wouldn’t get it.

God I want to have more faith but for now it’s too difficult. I feel that I am judged everywhere I go. I cannot be myself. It’s tiring.

It hurts till my tears cannot come out. Even if it did it is silently shed.
I am fading away day by day.

There are people who cares but it’s hard to let them in. The reason why I am still living is because I got responsibilities towards them and God too.

So I am stuck in a hellhole, living is a misery while dying is not a option at all.

I am in trouble.

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