Weary

I am emotionally tired.

Tired of explaining, of being calm in all situations.

Is my thinking really naive and too far-fetched? That i should be more complicated and start conforming to what the world wants?

That sincerity and being simple is not enough?

That it is not possible to find a environment where everyone works together for the common good with no ulterior motives?

Am i too idealistic?
Am i mature and independent enough? Nope that is confirmed.

I dont know how am i going to continue on my journey like this. I feel that if i live for myself, i am not going to have a easy time but if i should live how the world expects me to be, i will never be satisfied.

These past few days thanks to unpleasant situations i asked myself, am i studying the right thing? should i be here? For the first time and i am already halfway in this course.
I feel that the business world is way more harsher and with my thinking i doubt i can survive.

I am lost, i do not know what my future is. I just want to help others, do meaningful stuff while earning money. Social work, i hope that i can get there because i cannot think of anything else.
I want REAL interactions with people not superficiality.

I cannot stand fakeness at all. I cannot stand being in a atmosphere where i have to keep up my guard all the time. It only makes me very tired and hopeless.

I know i am not worthy enough for people to see past my appearance and get to know me personally. I am not that good either.

I am emotionally tired

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: