Appearance

So often I emphasised on the importance of character over beauty and i still continue to believe in it. But indeed what determines a person first impression is the other person physical appearance.

Thank God that the first impression is not the final impression for time will show a person true colours. For if that was the case I would have failed the test.

I am quite skinny but I am not that pretty. I have a mole on my right side above my upper lip. My legs are slender but the skin condition isn’t good as I have a lot of marks. It resulted when I scratched a lot when I was younger. I look arrogant sometimes because I don’t smile all the time .

Definitely I get self-conscious, especially when I was bullied back in secondary school. Actually my mole started appearing when I was 10 and so I become more insecure. Those people who tease me will talk about my looks and one even asked why I didn’t remove it.

It’s definitely not a awesome time for me back then. I was hurt and sad. Yes while removing it does makes me look better, but the motivation is wrong. I do not want to remove it for the sake of what others say.

My sister also has one right on the same spot as mine. And people will always notice it when they see us together. Their comments are always compliments but sometimes we are too sensitive because we are too self conscious.

Over the years, I do entertain the thought of removing it but I did not because the reasons are due to insecurity. But I realise that it actually helped me to become stronger and mature.

If the mole had not existed, I would not have receive all those negative treatments by others who judge me based on my looks. While its not a awesome experience, I do get to become stronger and know the importance of character over looks. And I wouldnt be so narrow minded too. I do gained bigger and better perspectives about things and not to be too obsessed over stuff that are temporal. I could not say that I am now awesome or perfect but rather I could say i have become better as compared to a few years ago.

What about removing it now? Hmm, I would say that if I get about to doing it one day, it’s not because of how other s opinions but because of I want to look better. I do want to look better too. But that day and time when I do it, I do not know because it is going to be a spontaneous decision.

I am not gonna change myself 100% and become more proud after that. Because I am not proving myself to anybody. My actions are accountable to God. Whatever people thinks after that, I will try not to dwell too much because there no use.

But now I am not gonna worry about the future. I do not know what the future may brings. After all I might actually not get to do it so I shall not try to predict the future. It’s foolish and meaningless.

Till then I will take things one day at a time šŸ™‚

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