Times like this

There are times when i wonder whether my goals are too separate from reality to make it happen.

Sometimes i wonder whether i should even think about it as my environment is different from what i wanted it to be.
I cannot control people and the environment around it.
I am only allowed to control myself, my reactions and attitudes towards it.
Sure it should sound simple, since its just myself.
But in arguments, i will just lose it all.

And then after that like always, i will be discouraged as all my earlier efforts went down the drain.
I got to start all over again.
Why must i always be so serious, so strung up? Only to get discouraged.

That is because i held myself to a high standard so that whatever i do or say matches up to my actions. That i do not have to worry about what others think of me. That i can experience contentment and peace in the midst of the chaos.

Most importantly because God is watching me and i have faith in Him.
I cannot depend on my strength to make it happen but he can help me.
That is why i will do my best.

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