Refreshed

100% responsibility  for myself. I hold myself accountable.
Truly it is not easy to make this statement because itis not easy to do.
Simply easier said than done.
My actions, my words, my every movement is held accountable.
And by the grace of God, i will carry it through.
I have to be more patient with myself.

What led to this decision?
My goals and aspirations. I want to make each day count. Not one day sucks and another day awesome, but to consistent make each day meaningful.
To deepen my relationships with people and to be more courageous.

I have a lot of self-help books at home. It inspires me and energize me but so often it only lasts for a few days. Since i do not make plans, so i forget it and feel guilty when i see it.
Stephen Covey books containing the 8 habits really inspires me to see new perspectives.

I need time to be better. Nothing is impossible with God.

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Times like this

A constant struggle between the good and bad me. It’s exhausting. Live humbly, love mercy and walk with your God. Sounds so simple but yet so hard to practice it. Life only gets harder if you know more and more things. Ignorance is bliss sometimes. A decision made can lead u to places unknown. That choice made in haste or in careful consideration. If I were to look back, how could I ever know that all these decisions are actually linked up? But I have no regrets simply because I could not have known where I will be if I choose the other alternative. If I could, if I would,

Shortest post

Went to Pasir Ris beach to do clean up.
Only spend 1 hour out of the entire duration really picking up litter and throwing it into the garbage can.
The rest was spend on waiting and travelling =.=

But i got CCA points and a free T-shirt. Kind of relaxing though.
I think i might joined more activities such as this in the future.
Make my resume looks nicer.
A pity that people first considers a person by the resume before giving that person an interview.
Resume is just a person’s history but not a good measure of a person’s character.

As time passes by

As time passes by,

The sun rises and sets,
People become older,
Places are demolished and new buildings are formed,
Gadgets now become obsolete,
The issues of now become histories of the past,
Today’s conversations fade away to nothing or only a fragment,
Songs and books become antique,
Old people die, leaving nothing and only their existence are remembered by those who knew them,
Babies come into this world, innocent and pure,
People change just like how the weather changes,
Right and wrong become subjective,
The pace of life quickens only to realize that its meaningless in the end.

In this world where change is the only consistent factor, how are you going to cope and be truly yourself? Not interrupted by changes in circumstances, affected by hurts caused by other people, struggling to stand in the face of difficulties and not being indifferent towards everything?

I often pondered especially when i look back and realize how the past was so different from the present and knowing that the future will be very different from the present too. People come and go, every new experience come with a whole new type of difficulty. And it is hard to look back at the past because of the emotions that come with it. Recalling the good memories and knowing that the reality is nowhere near it.

Happiness is just a surface emotion. For circumstances either make me happy or unhappy. It is the inner joy that makes me rejoice even though i do not know what the day may bring. But then again it is not easy to have inner joy every single day. Instead every morning, i just wake up determined to make the best out of it. Just determination but with no joy.

It is true that happiness comes with contentment and thankfulness. But it is the contentment part that causes people to stumble and fall. From the minute we step out of our comfy house and into the outside world, we are practically subconsciously comparing ourselves with others.Be it be physical appearance, mannerisms and  attitude. That feeling of self worth is suddenly gone when we see others better than us physically and gaining that advantage due to the fact that FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNTS.

There are some people who live life with a mindset that nothing is gonna stay forever so just do whatever you want. These people will make the best out of it by constantly having fun. But sooner or later, an feeling of emptiness will come over them. For they play too much and they will be thinking is that really what my life is all about? That i play and have fun till i die? Other people live life working hard their whole lives wanting to achieve something and be acknowledged for their hard work. But when they are old and have to retire, they cannot simply rest at all. Because they are restless workers and that way they cannot fully rest to appreciate the pleasures of the world.
But there are others too who have a defined purpose mainly due to religious reasons and they find themselves living a satisfying and thankful life.

I live with a purpose and it comes from my christian beliefs. Faith, that is what you call it when you keep pressing on even though there are times when it seems hopeless. Living life with principles. Not being arrogant and just simply being myself. Although yes i might be at a disadvantage but at least i know i live life with a clear conscience.
Disappointments and heartbreaks are unfortunately a common part of my life and i have to learn how to grow with it and emerge stronger and not indifferent.

Friday

It seems like i am complaining more and more nowadays =.=

Hmm…

Anyway i am staying over at my grandparents house as my family is in HongKong now. They will be back on Monday night.
Currently my life is carefree and relaxing. I get to do things at my own time and pace. Especially studying at my own pace and i learnt things better.

Simple and carefree life is all i need. Nothing more, nothing less.

Expectations towards others must be lowered to prevent future disappointments. Not to underestimate their potential but to recognize that they are humans too.
Sometimes i do not understand why human relationships is so complicated.
Ulterior motives, suspicions, doubt, lies just everything.
Circumstances either define or make a person stronger. I believe nobody is born to be suspicious of one another. It is the circumstances that they went through to make them this way.
Hating or loving is up to the person’s choice.
Do not blame circumstances for your decisions.
After all your own destiny is in your own hands. Your words and actions comes from your own mind.
Of course its not easy to be responsible for every single action that a person made as he/she made mistakes too.
Trust in God and forgive yourself.