Results:)

Before i even want to speak about  my results…i am worried for a friend terribly..

Very worried for her results but even more worried for her attitude..

She is giving up on herself totally…refused to go to school and just does not even care..

I have tried my best to help.. i offer to help her in studies..encourage her..advise her…

That is the best thing that i could do! And i feel so useless….i keep thinking of new ways to help her..

But how?! When all she did is to just give up on herself! I am angry and worried for her at the same time!

Sms her..she does not reply..i do not even know whether she saw the sms because her phone got problem..

I am just so frustated! I hate to be in a situation where i am doing well but yet my friend’s result like the exact opposite..

Offering consolation to them would be seen as being arrogant..

Can you Please do not give up on yourself?? I can write paragraphs and paragraphs of encouarging words

BUT if you CHOOSE to GIVE UP..I CANNOT HELP YOU!

I’ll be praying for her..

I am happy with my results but i know i cannot be complacent..in fact i think i am going to be more crazy about studying. I am happy that i had improved compared to mid-year. Now i got to learn how to handle pressure well..with O-Level coming in less than 22 days..

English: A2( not guranteed so gonna work harder)

Maths: B4( not exactly stable..going to practice more questions)

Science:C5( must improve!)

Chinese:B3( must improve!)

Combined Humanities: A1( still must practice)

Pure History: A1( Must practice essays)

POA: A1( no CARELESS mistakes must be made!)

Ultimately God takes all the Glory……:D

True freedom

In your freedom i will live….in your freedom i will live..i offer devotion…i offer devotion..

In this fast-paced world..there is really no freedom. We are constantly burdened by assignments and responsibliaties..we have to rush to meet a certain deadline. After we completed that certain task..a new one comes along and once again we are back into the rushing mode. We only relax during meals, watching a few hours of television and sleeping. Is that called freedom?

 However to me, freedom is not measured in time.. it cannot be measured at all. To me, freedom is when you do what you really want to do and just enjoy every moment of it while at the same time fulfilling your respective role. To me, true freedom lies in God..

When i spend time with Him, i am not constantly worrying about other stuff like the coming O-level. In fact i just poured out all my woes to Him through prayer..and then i feel better. God is more important to me than anything else.. this is what i told myself. O-level only lasts for a month, but my relationship with Him is going to last for eternity..i cannot forsake that relationship just because of this O-level.

I have done that before and my relationship with Him just went straight down. The minute i stop doing quiet time and turned my attention to other stuff…the relationship just falters..even my understanding of Him also dropped. That is the moment when i realised that having a relationship with God requires devoted time to Him. For it is fragile.

He is such a faithful God and a wonderful God. God to everyone is big and sovereign..but yet He can be so gentle and faithful. When we do something wrong or am no longer spending time with Him like we used to, all He will do is to patiently wait at the doorstep of our heart, waiting for us to let Him in. But this does not meant that we can neglect Him..for He also got feelings and after a certain period of waiting, he will turn and go away..

God also relieves you of your problems and let you rest in Him..with a peace that you cannot understand or put it down into words. All you know is that as long as He is around, you will be safe and secure. What more can i ask for? That is true freedom..

Thanking Him will never be enough….all i can do is to continue to obey Him and have a wonderful relationship with Him.

Ultimately my purpose is to help out in his Kingdom and just stay happy despite all circumstances:)

hehe..

Today i expected to get back my POA and chinese results…

A1 for POA and most likely a B3 for my chinese..

All glory goes to God 🙂

There was a PE lesson today as well, but no more sporting activites will be conducted..

Today took height and weight..i grew by 1 cm to 166 and stayed at 50kg..:)

I thought i would lose weight since during the exam period, i did not eat a lot..haha but never mind..

I think i shall end it here……today was a pleasant day:)

Stay happy:)

That title was to encourage myself..

Recently i had encountered some unpleasant situations which was uncalled of..and i was really angry..

I am trying not to get the anger take control of me..seriously i find them childish!

It had nothing to do with my acadamic results..

Today i came to school with a wait-and see mood..not really looking forward to the releasing of results..

I ended up getting back english and science results..

Thank God..He is always wonderful..

English paper 1: 39/60 Paper 2: 38/50  Overall: A2:)

Physics: 37.5/65 Biology:36/65 ..Overall: Probably c5

I never expected to pass biology and when i saw the results..i was grinning:)

Thank God..for his mercy..

I am looking forward to POA and maybe Chinese tmr…

I love POA:)

Today was my POA paper 2 examination……

Although i loved doing POA..confident of a distinction..but i am not really happy.

Why? Well i felt that i was being spoonfed too much by my teachers..

I know what kind and what type of questions will come out..all i need is to study that piece of notes and there a distinction!

But i expect it to be more challenging especially since O-level comes right after this..

I am not going to be fully assured of doing well in O-level even if i were to get full marks for this prelims..

So i am going to make sure that i know all the necessary information before O-level..

Recently i look through my family photo albums..

I saw how i gradually develop from a baby, to a toddler, to a child and now a teenager..

The flood of memories seems to overwhelm me and i was full of gratiude..

Towards God who is the Creator of all things

Towards my family who were the people whom i shared all these happy memories with..

I am glad that i grew up in a financally stable family..i do not have to worry about what to eat or what to wear..

All i need is to fully concentrate on my studies..

Constantly thinking about this kind of things keeps me happy and upbeat..

And i believe that if everybody were to have this kind of positive mindset…problems will no longer seems to be a terrifying monster:)

My prelims are going to end on wednesday…like Finally!

And then i will brace myself for the release of results…

Will not be too optimistic but also not too pessmistic about it..

I am going to take this as a chance to learn where i had gone wrong and make sure i am not going to repeat the same mistakes again..

On to other stuff..

Everyday at 7pm, on channel 8..there is a drama serial entitled love..

It started since the beginning of last year and i got a feeling its never going to end…..

Now its at 400plus epsioide….and i heard it will only end like after 1000 ep??

That absolutely crazy! But my grandparents are loving it…

I am not a fan of it for two reasons…

Firstly, the show is too draggy…just when one problem gets solved..another problems rises out from other place… i also find the characters a bit immature in handling things..behaving like teenagers when they are already adults..

Secondly, the values portrayed out to the audience are wrong in a certain sense.how?? They take justice into their own hands to solve or punish their enemies. They apparently followed an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth principle . As a christian i am against the princple..i believe that whatever wrongdoings people had done to us..we should not repay it back but rather leave it up to God. Instead we are to repay back with kindness and forgiveness for we are all sinners.

That is my own personal view..

I could have gone into this topic in a detailed manner..but the lack of time prevent me from doing so..

But nevermind

I don’t know

Today i took my history and literature paper..

Thoughts?? Well i think my history paper 1 can pull up the other paper:)

Literature will bring down my overall combined humanities grade….sad..

Unseen prose section killed me…the fact that its UNSEEN so i was not really prepared for it..

Can pass but still not happy enough..

Tomorrow is my maths paper 2…

My maths paper 1 was really well done and i believe that i can get a distinction if  i do well tomorrow..

I believe i can do well tomorrow…and for the first time in my secondary school life..a distinction!

Maths has always been my weakest subject..

But its ironic that the papers that i thought i could excel turned out to be causing  me problems and maths is the one who gave me motivation. HAHA

I have been tired these few days..

Constantly struggling to stay awake in the afternoons to study..

At night, the minute my head hits the pillow..i am off to my lalaland..

So i am really eager to finish off these remaining papers…

Its gonna be a short post…….

Untitled:)

Today was my physics  paper..

I studied really hard for it and my effort paid off quite okay..

I am confident of passing it..thank God

I know that if i want to get a B for science overall, i got to do extremely well in my upcoming science pratical and paper 1

Tomorrow i will be taking my history and literature paper..

I will face it one at a time:)

It seems weird to be posting at this juncture…all my fellow friends are busy studying now..

I love to reflect and discuss things…to cool myself down from the busyness of life..

As a student, i am already running against time. Constantly making sure that i am always ahead and not let time overtake me.

I simply cannot imagine how life will be like the minute i join the working world..

However i will make sure i will enter into a career i love..a career that is purposeful..not for money.

I guess that growing up in a strict environment really helps me..

I do not really crave for many things…of course i will still crave but the feeling will not last long..

Gadgets are easily replaced just like how iPhone is replaced by iPhone 4 and i still do not know whether another version will still pop out.

Of course sometimes i envy my friends for having all this kind of latest stuff…sometimes i feel ‘outdated’

But i know life is not about all these things..

What i really crave for is for happiness, optimism, contentment, be a simple and motivated person.

I constantly find inspirational books to inspire myself..keep myself motivated…

I force myself actually haha..cuz i know thats the only way to help myself..

It actually help  me become more independent but not totally…haha

I cannot cook..but nevermind i canpick up later in the future..

Growing up in a  strict environment also keeps me to become self-disciplined.

I cannot play non-stop and do not study…i will be feeling super gulity

I cannot skip tutorials or school activities of any kind..even if its boring..i am just not used to not obeying the rules..

I cannot be late..that is why i am always early or on time…

These are habits that i cultivated and of course good.

Sometimes my friends will complain about me being too serious or too obedient…

But i will never regret:)

In the midst of Prelims

I am always more idealistic than realistic…

However sometimes being too idealistic is not good..

Especially when you cannot meet the targets when you set for yourself….

I am competitive…although i do not express it…but i am competitive

I contstantly challenged myself to be better….especially when i see my classmates doing exceedingly well

For the wrong purpose…that is

I kept saying that i am doing all this to glorfiy God..but not true..actually i am doing it to please myself..

Now i am in the midst of Prelims…

So far i am a bit disappointed with 2 papers especially after i put in so much effort

The first paper was biology…

I memorised everything i could and kept going through over and over again..

However the minute i turn over to the first question of my biology paper…i was shocked..

Most of the questions were experiment-based…It requires critical thinking…

At first my mind went totally blank but eventually i managed to compose myself to answer the questions..

Towards the end of the examination..i knew getting a distinction or even a B may be impossible..

I  was disappointed with myself for i had set out to get a distinction for science…

The second paper was the one i took today..history paper 2

I memorised 2 main topics….mainly hitler, stalin and War in Europe

Both came out today…and i did war in Europe..

I could answer part a but not part b as i never came across that kind of question before..

In the end i wrote up a essay that makes no sense..but that the best answer i think i could give

I pray that my SBQ will bring up my SEQ…i will be most happy if i get a B..

Unexpected things like these two occured and the idealistic and competitive me usually cannot take it at first

But i know that reacting this way was somehow wrong..because God was not inside..i did not let him in

I am just basically trying to acheive my targets by myself..

I am going to cut down on my personal aims…turned it into God-centered…

Giving him the Glory for everything whether good or bad…

I wanna thank him for the papers i had been through..

Social studies, maths paper 1 and chinese was very well done..

I knew it would have been not possible without God…thanks!

I will be putting the effort for the remaining papers…and glorfiy Him!:)

Ask me to change church? Not so easy..

Back here one and a half months since my last post..

Time passes really very fast and i am having my prelims this week.
Rather fornuate that i had a week to do lots of revision..
Kept practising maths…….
Tomorrow is my maths paper 1 and i hope that my effort wont be in vain..
Although i should be more concerned with my studies now……i am not really worried

I am more concerned about church matters……
My family is planning to go to other church after staying in this church for about 6 years..
I can choose to join them or else i will stay in this current church alone..
I remembered telling myself sliently a few years ago that i want to help bulid up a stronger church
I want to see my church grow..REALLY GROW IN SPIRIT AND Unity
Although i am helping out in small ways……….
This desire was further fuellled by a kind of big event that took place years ago
Familes were moving out of the church to join other bigger churches
I could not ever forget how the atmosphere was like when it occured
The sadness shown by my pastor motivate me to stay on and help out..
I did not expect my family to change..
But it is going to happen….
For now i am not leaving even though that church looks more appealing
I believe that since that church is already flourishing..
I should devote my time to my current church..to help it flourish
I could not bear to just dump everything and follow..
Because i had already placed my heart into this church..
I treasure the relationships that i had made
and i am not going to let go…