Think Positive

In life there are ups and downs.

This week…i do have but i would like to focus on the positive side.

I have patched up with a friend, we had not talked for 4 months. I was not planning on any patching up at all. But she asked me and i defintely agree, i do not hate her. Her request took me by surprise. Cause i usually am the one who made the first move.

I have interpreted people who insult me in a postive manner. But of course this is not an encouragement for them to continue on. I labelled them as people who make me stronger. Through every trial, i emerged stronger and better. Its all thanks to God that i am able to view them in such a postive manner. Through my daily devotion with God, i learnt that i must love a christian brothers and sisters even if they insult me. I am trying with God’s help. Without His help, i do not think i can make it.

My faith in God has been strengthened. I can feel peace even in times when i am insecure.

My cousins from Germany has finally arrived!

Hi!

Just yesterday i borrowed a autobiography of Billy Graham from the library. His evangelistic missons were all over the world until i lost count of how many countries he had been to. Right now i slowed down my reading speed otherwise i will not understand the book entirely. Millions of people got saved through him. Truly inspired by it. He took 10 years to write it. And i understand why it was so long.

Today i went to church and this would be the last time i would be going to church on Sunday. From next week onwards church service will be change to saturday evening. I got to learn how to adjust to this timing//HAHA. For i have been going to church on Sunday since i was young.  Today Pastor preached about where the church is heading to. I did not get the sheet so through memory. The three things that are happening are: We are going to be transformed continously(spelled wrongly) into the image of Christ. We are going to love one another unconditionally and finally we reach out to others intentionally. To me, that is an encouraging sermon to a church as a whole and i look forward to it:)

Right after the service, there was an annual general meeting. Though i am a non-member. I understand what was going on in that meeting for the first time. Thanks to a bit of POA? HAHAA. But i was very hungry for the buffet lunch…..buffet lunch was nice. Then we went home.

Reached home and saw my grandparents and aunt. Added her on facebook plus my cousins. AND finally i added my dad  and auntie winnie. I was hestiant about doing it ..not because i was gulity or what. But i feel that i am subjected to saying my views in the future. But in the end, i still did it. They are my family anyway.

Went to airport to welcome my cousins and second aunt. My first aunt was seriously funny. Taught me and my sis line dancing in airport…..LOL. I still can remember the steps now. Finally they arrived and the youngest cousin really grew much bigger  and taller

Played with them non-stop at grandparents place. Kept running around. Fun
!

Okay right now got to go off……im distracted ……

Forgive and forget

Yesterday’s post was full of angry and unkind words…….I am not going to dwell upon it.

I realise i am still very sensitive despite trying many ways to be less emotional. But yet i am still the same..emotionally from comments that i should have ignored. Plus i got long term memory…this is a disadvantage to me at times like this.

I saw this sentence in tv in the bus on the way home. If you forgive someone, you are setting a prisoner free. And that prisoner is yourself. I agree with this sentence totally. Not forgiving someone is really my own problem, not forgiving only causes more hatred and emotional hurt. So i have decided to forgive everybody who may have accidentally hurt me one way or another. Though they may hurt me time and time again, i will still forgive them. I know its hard to forgive but i will for my own sake. I do not wish to be miserable everyday.

what about forget? It takes time..i got to confess. i will try….i will forget.

Tired…..of certain people

Yes i am tired of certain people…..SERIOUSLY.

They cannot shut up and kept uttering stupid words.

There are some people in this world where you really got nothing to say but only negative comments. Some more i am going to see them until i graduated……..very miserable. Forgive them?? how to?? I see them and the anger rises up again. I did not release my anger although i really wanted to….cause i knew that if i did that…i am asking for more trouble.

To Riza(if you see this): i got no grudges against you. Whatever happened today i am going to not care about it. For i know you did not start it. But please for goodness sake…at least stop repeating that insult ……give me some basic respect. I still respect you as a classmate. i do not wish to make any enemies .

Seriously i can imagine myself slapping some of them right now.

Hi!

Let me keep you updated on what i have been doing this past few days

Saturday:

Went out with church friends to East Coast Park. Bowled for about an hour before cycling for 2 hours. Its my second time bowling and my results improved though it could  be much better. There were many rounds where my result was a 9-0. Hais…i just wonder why i could not get the ONE! Never mind i shall try it the next time round. For cycling…i cycle very fast. Until i could not see my friends behind me. i like to cycle first so that i can enjoy the wind and relax. I like to be alone most of the time for me to imagine things…funny things. I even thought of buying a house near the beach next time so i could spent my free time enjoying and relaxing inside there.

When everything ended, i went home alone…for the first time. Sister Jeannie gave me directions to go home. So i followed her instructions and was a bit surprised when i emerged from the underpass. She told me to walk straight and not look back….and then i will approach the bridge in which i have to cross over. I walked straight and could not find any bridge. So i decided to walk in the direction of the expressway. Soon i found myself at Victoria Jc and from there i took a bus home. I did not know that the bridge was that far! When i reached home…i was very tired. But to me its worth it, i do hope that there will be another outing .

Sunday:

I did not feel well that day, partly due to my exhaustion. I went to church in a inactive mood..which i hardly do. During worship, i did not really enter into it. During Pastor’s sermon, i almost fell asleep. I left early with my family as there are some relatives coming over to my house to visit the baby. They were my grandaunts and granduncles. I finished my homework at night. I was really very tired.

Today:

lessons and lessons…….OKAY………i quite bored…so bye

…..hello………

Hees…………….sorry for not posting the past few days.

My baby brother has arrived and right now he is sun tanning..haha to get rid of the toxins in his body…

I changed a lot particularly after the June holidays. Even my friends in school noticed in and they are not really supportive of my change in behaviour. One of my friends even join another group because of that. Firstly i hardly complain which is a good thing for me but not for them as our past conversations were full of that. Not only that, i rebut them. They preferred me to be the old me..which was worser. And my closest friend told me not to be surprised if she were to leave me one day.

And also my once best friend still hate me for the things that happened last year. She kept harping on it and of course her hatred grew. Today she even threatened my seating partner with two sentences which were ‘You are dead and You should have better taste’ after the PE lesson.

I was seriously enraged…how could she do this to my friend just because of my good friendship with him. Yes he is a guy…and a very honest nd gentle guy. I uttered unkind words in rage. In the morning beofre the PE lesson, i even thought of buying her a secret gift. For the bible want me to bless those who harm me. Right now i got to think twice. I will still pray for her.

About my friend asking me to change. I cannot……i have to obey God. For God wants all christians to be the salt of the earth. I do nnot want to go back to the old me…where i sin and sin again and again and beg for mercy on Sunday. No i do not want that. I told my friend that if they were to complain..i will keep slient..i will not rebut them. If worst come to worst..and they still cannot accept me then so be it. I need God encouragement.

I got many reasons why i cannot follow my friends…….all these reasons add up to one thing: I love God.

Nowdays especially after the June holidays……whenever i see my closest friend..i feel irriated whenever i see her. As our conversations are usally negative. But then i think of God..how he manage to love us despite our weakness. I pray that i will be able to care for her just like what God did.

May God bless you…

Oh my………………God is convicting me

I am feeling  very guilty right now.

I took a christian book entitled Good Morning Holy Spirit from auntie winnie’s bookshelf without asking her. It is a book on how you can identify the presence of the Holy Spirit. As i was reading just now,the feeling of gulit increases and increase until i could barely breathe.

The reason why i took the book was simple. I wanted to get closer to God. so what if i have so much knowledge of the bible but yet not sense his presence? Its useless.

 

I shall stop here…i am really full of gulit

Yay! 1 more day people!

This special day is finally arriving tomorrow. This is the motivation that kept me going for the past few days 🙂

While waiting for this moment to come, i of course still go to school and do my own daily activites. Just yesterday, i just have a sudden urge to read a christian book entitled In Power and Glory. This is a book studying Revelation..the last book of the bible. I read it a few times before but yet didnt understand. But as i read yesterday…i begin to understand the book. I read finish already. Its an amazing book. Will not reveal much here…….as its quite sensitive.

Today my history teacher treated our class to KfC in tampines. It was a very pleasant gathering as everybody relax. Even i managed to chat a bit to my friend..thank God.

I dont know why but i recently started preferring my temperature to be 36 degrees or higher…as its quite cool. Not everybody have that temperature..you see…hehe…

Actually today almost something spoil my mood…In the morning the bus arrive very late……….to me….as i am super scared that i am late. I hate to be late. When it arrived, it was crowded…..as a result i cannot board the bus. I was pissed off and i took another bus to the mrt station ..and then i board a taxi. I was praying to God all the while…but i do not blame him. When i was finally in the taxi…….i thank God. I reached school at 6.50am….surprisely….early….even earlier than usual. Thank God.

3 more days!

3 more days …………….I cant wait..hehe

Things has been going smoothly for the past few days….thank God

I realised that my thinking has changed after the June holidays…especially after the church camp. I started to stop using vulgar words and be more positive. I try not to complain and even advise my friends not to too. But i was met with more negative comments….never mind. I try to look at the big picture. Ultimately….its better. i pray that i will continue on in this manner.

Today was fine. I bump into one of my classmates in the bus on the way home. She used to be my best friend until lots of misunderstandings occur….. Whenever i see her, i will sigh..not at her but at the situation. How a once strong friendship decrease to just being classmates. I am partly responsible for it too and the way she behaves now. She become more lazy……i guess its got to do with me…….lack of motivation. I will defintely pray for her.

ok i got to go……………3 MORE DAYS!

A little update…

Just now practically form 8pm all the way to 9pm. My dad was scolding my sister over her assessment work. What irriates me is the fact that he was shouting all the way. I was just beside his room….everytime when he scolds..have the effect of thunder. A few minutes ago…….after he is done with my sister….he turn to me and reminded me sternly of the other maths assessment book which was not completed. I know……

ok its just that why must he spoil everyone’s day too…except for auntie winnie.

This is not the first time that it occured and i hate it whenever it occured!

Ok i am not going to mention more  about it…….i do not want to end  my day with this note

Anyway today i cut my hair. Went to a new salon…its quite nice. I do not know how to describle my hair…….its different…haha…thats all.

I better stop now…………to cool of……….any ice?