Not being friendly enough

Glance at this title….and you may be put off by it. This title sounded so negative…but its part of me.

I am like that…i cannot strike a conversation with people just as most people do. I am always quiet even among my friends. Even after chatting fora while… i will stop. I have been reflecting recently….

I am not rude when i do not greet people, its just not me… i feel uncomfortable greeting people whom i am not close to. I am not bad when i do not give a present to someone..i just do not know what to give. To me, present will only last for a while…unlike relationships. I am angry with myself for not being able to do such simple things. But its just not me.

That is why people think i am aloof, i am not that popular among my peers. I dont always go out with my friends….thus not improving my friendship with them. Not that i do not want to, sometimes my dad dont allow or i simply just dont know what to do even if i am with them. not attending social events partly contribute to the consequences i faced today.

I sounded so anti-social and i know that ..i wanna be more sociable. I want to attend more outdoor social activities. But i know that my character will still be the same…deep inside. But at least i know how to be friendly.

My stepmum know that my sis and i did not pass all our subjects and will be giving us a punishment. I do not know but i do hope that i still can go out on wednesday with my friends.

I need God’s guidance….

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