Today…..blah blah

My form teacher changed my seat from the 2nd row all the way to the back corner of the classroom. Sitting alone…sob sob will be boring. Intially i had complaints about it because i am stepping out of my comfort zone..no more good friends near me. But later on i think..its actually good for me. Change is neccesary in order to improve. Although i know i am not really that welcomed…i will persevere..

Chinese oral was not so bad…but not so good as well. The essay reading was fine except for a few words. Conversation was not good…i understand what the examiner was saying but i cant relate it out in chinese. Seriously i got to read out  more chinese . Sweating non-stop during the whole oral.

Mid-year examinations are coming in a month’s time and SYF as well. Pressure is building up on me to do well in both areas. Slowly and steadily i will be fine.

Life is unfair…miserable..its true. Things happened at the time when you least expected. There are many angles to defining life. It could be positive also. And i choose to believe in that..what is the point of being pessmistic. I could have buckle under pressure by now if i am negative. Somehow the best way to keep yourself alive is by being positive.

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I just had an meaningless arguement with my stepmum. The word stepmum sounded very distant..yes i am not close to her even though i addressed her as auntie. For those who know both me and her…well i am not close to her. We had many arguements taking place all the time. And all these started because of small things that were not done properly and also behaviour. To give you a brief background so you can relate to my feelings, i am going to tell out what the argument was about. I will not remember it defintely by tomorrow morning.

I wanted to study in the dining room because of its spacious surroundings and windy.. i rarely study there but somehow i today wanted to. Then my stepmum went out of her room and started protesting..claiming that i last time complain about the living room being dim due to one of the light bulbs not working and in fact the dining room is more dimmer compared to it. This i really dont understand…what does it got to do with the living room? She then repeat that the dining room is dimmer than the living room…so i should not study there. This complaint was like many months ago and she brought it up…she was talking loudly at that point in time. Then i told her that i was watching tv at the living room at that time, and now i wanna study. Different activities…….no link! Even my dad agreed but she still could not accept it and stated that tomorrow she will get something to measure both lights and show which is dimmer. My dad and i were like…fine go ahead…we dont care. Stupid arguement! Where got link?

Good things should start at home…but how to when all these type of worthless arguements always occurs? Negative things….are there when they are not supposed to….

That is why i want to read motivational things..to encourage myself ..give me strength..positive thinking.

I also want to thank God for the ability to forget unhappy things easily. This is one of the most wonderful things….

By tomorrow i will forget it…wont even mention it at all

Got chinese oral…will be preparing and guitar practises……….

Lol

The day i take the ic, i lost my ez-link card….can you believe it? Not only that my ic address was wrong so yesterday went down to ICA to change. I havent inform my family about it. This is like the 3rd or 4th time that i lost it! But i pray for miracles to happen. Because when i lost my ez-link card, i also lost my contact details…so i pray a kind soul will contact me or mail back to me. I dont mind if they use finish the money. As long as i can get it back..never mind. Must have faith that this can happen.

Went to church today. Pastor in-law…forget his name but knew that he is an in-law of my church pastors preached on the topic: Love does not envy. Envy is one of the seven deadly sins according to the roman catholic church. Envy started because of lack of love.  By nature, we are not kind, but its because of love that kindness starts.

After church went for a youth lunch meeting..it was okay. Bascially we were told to think out of two things concerning the youth group. First it the name and what do we expect out of it? Well thinking is in process….hehe

Okay now i gtg…trying to find motivational poems…..love it…

March!

March! is not refering to the month but the physical bodily movement. March is quite significant to me….it is like determination. No turning behind..move on in what you believe in…

Today was Friday! A day where people can cut some slack and relax…a day where almost everybody is looking forward to..including me. I really want to rest…but got to stay back for guitar. During guitar…it was not a practise session..it is our body measurement for SYF costumes. So that all. Costume is nice…

Today was supposed to be my literature elective test part 2. Really looking forward to it as i want to get over…but my very kind teacher once again postponed to next week to help us learn more about a character. I am grateful for that but i feel that its just a waste of time. I am already prepared for it.

Blog is like reflecting and recounting what you did that day….

I dont recount…i reflect…

I am thinking what am i going to do in the future..after university. No dont think too far yet. I am planning to go junior college cause i haven decided on my area of interest. Business? Psychology? These two subjects are my interests currently. I know in university there is a business and psychology course. But business??

Then obviously i never know……..

You know

These past few days i have been very busy.. trying to complete e-learning homework and other stuff. E-Learning is like a online homework assignment where we are supposed to complete it by a certain time. And this is considered as our camp. What a boring one! Need to print out and do. What is  the purpose other than trying to educate us?

Today was the official day of lessons. Generally everything was fine..until CCA. Not many people came due to sport heats, Instructer was not too happy about it. He was mainly changing the guitar strings…but he still asked the few of us to practise in our own groups. We did practise but not all the time …got chit chatted a bit. What was unfortuante was that whenever he turned around to check on us…we were chit chatting and he just assumed that we never practise. Gotten lots of scoldings…..then we practise. Made mistakes, he made some negative comments. Really pissed me off. I know he is in a bad mood but do you need to vent out on us? We did practise and we hardly step out of the room. That is not the end yet…later Mrs Wong came. This time he shouted at us..really shocked and angry…

Actually before he shout, i already cooled down…no longer feeling angry..then he go shout…hais….

Tomorrow and saturday got guitar practise….go to go on….i will defintely forget this anger by tonight. I dont stay angry all the time.

Like in this wise quote which i saw on television while on the bus. We should feel sorrow, but not sink in it.

Economy….money…business…..downturn….all these are mentioned in the newspaper nowdays….people desperately looking for jobs….trying not to retrench workers. People finding management courses…and what am i doing? Studying…..at sec 3. I am not really worried………..as i study and i thank God for that

Friday

Today i played badminton with jacqueline…a good workout for me. I joined her, her second sister and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was the best among the four of us. His reflexes was so fast….so good. And most likely i will be playing badminton again because when school reopens..Pe will be that. After that, i went to find fatin and qian ying. They were doing their literature project and soon i will be doing it as well because i am from lit elective. This project involves art……argh…….i am not really good at it..but still…need to do. Basically just chat with them all the way then i headed home.

Actually  today there is a strikeback camp. I went for that camp last year out of fun but really enjoyed it. I was disappointed that i wasnt informed…including some of the others. I only knew about it…like yesterday and it was through people’s blogs? Anyway i know that if i go…i may not really enjoy it because the people are not really close to me. I was just disheartened to know that i wasnt informed.

Move on to positive things…. let go and forget….be positive!

Today i went for guitar for the whole morning and afternoon. Mainly we did sectionals and refining on chess( one of the SYF songs) Today was also quite special because Madam Maiza came back…to lecture us..haha. But its worth it. She will only be back on 29th  april…i dont know why so long. She has been on leave since last year due to her pregnancy.

There was a lunch break. After having my lunch at central, i walked back and bumped into miss Tan, the vice-principal along the way. She asked me whether i am from 3e5 and i agreed. She told me that there will be a female student coming from Australia …if i am right ….to my class. I was so excited. Miss Tan was finding a buddy for her because she is a foreigner..but i could not be because she took pure literature and history elective..so i suggested a friend of mine.. she might be coming after the march holidays. Apprently i am not supposed to reveal this but i was too excited. If you read this and is from my class, dont say too much cause i am not 100% sure. But yes we will defintely have a new classmate and please treat her well. I believe my class will defintely be friendly to her.

How i wish my class could be a united one but it seems impossible. Especially since certain people look down on others just because of differences. But i hope that by next year…everyone will be okay with each other…no more insults….defintely need more class-bonding….

Tomorrow i will be playing badmintion with my primary school classmate. Looking forward to it……..

Not being friendly enough

Glance at this title….and you may be put off by it. This title sounded so negative…but its part of me.

I am like that…i cannot strike a conversation with people just as most people do. I am always quiet even among my friends. Even after chatting fora while… i will stop. I have been reflecting recently….

I am not rude when i do not greet people, its just not me… i feel uncomfortable greeting people whom i am not close to. I am not bad when i do not give a present to someone..i just do not know what to give. To me, present will only last for a while…unlike relationships. I am angry with myself for not being able to do such simple things. But its just not me.

That is why people think i am aloof, i am not that popular among my peers. I dont always go out with my friends….thus not improving my friendship with them. Not that i do not want to, sometimes my dad dont allow or i simply just dont know what to do even if i am with them. not attending social events partly contribute to the consequences i faced today.

I sounded so anti-social and i know that ..i wanna be more sociable. I want to attend more outdoor social activities. But i know that my character will still be the same…deep inside. But at least i know how to be friendly.

My stepmum know that my sis and i did not pass all our subjects and will be giving us a punishment. I do not know but i do hope that i still can go out on wednesday with my friends.

I need God’s guidance….

Lol

2009_darwin_award_nominee_thum

Weird…this picture…haha!

Finally March holidays are here but i am not totally free! Got guitar practises on tuesday and thursday. All for the sake of SYF…l cant help but think of the scoldings that the instructer scold…and its true.. Personally i feel that our guitar ensemble is not united enough. There is no passion or motivation that brings everyone together. Everybody got their own cliques. I am not trying to praise myself here. But seriously i have been helping out with the setting up of chairs and more…and also with the help of sec 2. And the setting up of chairs were always done by the same group of people and i really appreciate them for it. There are others who arrived early but just sit  there and start tuning their guitars without helping. Or even better…came late so that there is no need to set up at all. There is no unity at all. How can we perform better if we are not united in the first place? Team support is important!

Yesterday was the last day of term 1..gotten back my results…..

English:B3

Chinese:B3

Maths: E8

Science: A2

Combined humans: B3

Pure history: B3

POA:A1

Yes…got to buck up for my maths…..but i am happy that this is the first time that i got b3 and above for all my other subjects!

Lost the debate round yesterday…sad….la….but its a good thing cause now i could focus more on my cca.

 

Well…

Well do not expect me to post everyday like i really used to. This whole week i did not came home for lunch. Staying back in school for CCAs and debate. Let me give you a brief summary on this week.

I was prepared for my chinese exams already and teacher did not come to school for chinese lessons on monday and tuesday. By the time, i took the exam on wednesday…my memory was not that good.. results was simply disappointing ..just pass…

On wednesday i went up the stage to receive a certi for the TJC debate,  was deeply thankful that no one booed me….yes i sound so pessmistic…but its a fact. I am not really that social type of person. When i went up, almost everyone was slient…which gave me some encouragement

Well..For CCA…..thank God…i am in SYF. But i got to refine my tremelo…it sounded so bad… Tuesday practises were fine…Thursdays practises were okay. Except that my mood was dampaned towards the end. Today ..well… we were all distracted..that the guitar session was not going on at all. I was distracted…

CA results: I gotten a A1 for my POA, B3 for history and the rest…idk

Debate motion was released today…i will be speaking for this round…and i really want to win! The taste of losing is just….bitter

After my disappointing results….i have told my self that i must improve and do very well to SA1 ..starting from today