I am going to make this a really long post…caus…

I am going to make this a really long post…cause i wanna pour out my feelings here.
I want to release it out so that i can get a good night sleep without an urge to blog..
Today i went to church as usual and after service, Uncle Alan asked me whether i has decided to join the RGB a not….
Well i said a yes to his request but as i said that, i am suddenly in a new world where i dont know people well except for their names.
It is the truth, i wasnt close to any of them even though i want to. I hate the feeling that as much as i want to go up and just chat with them, i am held back because i was uncomfortable and simply dont even know what to talk. This feeling has been bugging me for years and i didnt tried to fight back, i just let it simply take over. But then i know it is not good.
It will not help me at all. Whenever i am with people i am really in good terms with, i will show my happy and crazy side. But i hate it, cause it like i am showing two different sides to myself to different people.
I will be joining them on the 2nd week of next month. Once again i will try to fight this feeling of insecurity and will fight it till the end.
I know i can win it through the grace of God.
Have you ever seen someone watching television for less then 15 minutes and just fell asleep. Amazing isnt it? Television is meant to entertain people and not for bedtime stories but to my grandmother, it is. No matter how entertaining the show may be, she will fall asleep and my grandfather will be smiling as he glanced over her.
I shall be back tomorrow to further update, meanwhile i shall be getting ready for bed…bye


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