I am going to make this a really long post…caus…

I am going to make this a really long post…cause i wanna pour out my feelings here.
I want to release it out so that i can get a good night sleep without an urge to blog..
Today i went to church as usual and after service, Uncle Alan asked me whether i has decided to join the RGB a not….
Well i said a yes to his request but as i said that, i am suddenly in a new world where i dont know people well except for their names.
It is the truth, i wasnt close to any of them even though i want to. I hate the feeling that as much as i want to go up and just chat with them, i am held back because i was uncomfortable and simply dont even know what to talk. This feeling has been bugging me for years and i didnt tried to fight back, i just let it simply take over. But then i know it is not good.
It will not help me at all. Whenever i am with people i am really in good terms with, i will show my happy and crazy side. But i hate it, cause it like i am showing two different sides to myself to different people.
I will be joining them on the 2nd week of next month. Once again i will try to fight this feeling of insecurity and will fight it till the end.
I know i can win it through the grace of God.
Have you ever seen someone watching television for less then 15 minutes and just fell asleep. Amazing isnt it? Television is meant to entertain people and not for bedtime stories but to my grandmother, it is. No matter how entertaining the show may be, she will fall asleep and my grandfather will be smiling as he glanced over her.
I shall be back tomorrow to further update, meanwhile i shall be getting ready for bed…bye


Today i came to school in a ready mode. Ready for…

Today i came to school in a ready mode. Ready for audition although i still feel a bit nervous but i was ready unlike yesterday.
Memorised the whole song, but you know what? In the end i didnt perform..what is this?
When i am ready, they suddenly postpone but when i am not ready, they suddenly come.
At first there was a audition, starting with the first group which defintely consists of the seniors and they were the best.
Then came the next group, which was good but not as good as the previous one ….
Then came the last group which was quite okay.
Madam maiza then suddenly asked who got practised last night as instructed and a few stood up.
Those who didnt including me have to keep all the chairs and music stands..so didnt perform lor
The next practise will be on the last week of december..my birthday week1
We are expected to learn everything by then and not to bring the scores….
So yea i am kind of ready…will be going to library later..borrow books to keep me occuiped for the whole of next week…
So boring…i wont be going to school already ….
And then i am also expected to finish my two assessment books which i bought and now i regretted…
But still have to finish….
I am now yearning to be 14….all my friends have turned 14 except me….even though thats good..HAHA
My birthday seems like a million miles away…

I went to school today for guitar..actually in a …

I went to school today for guitar..actually in a okay mood..
But then later in the bus, someone came up and somehow shattered my mood….make me feel very vulnerable…
He is my classmate and he constantly insults me. Thank God he is not in my class next year
Madam Maiza finally came back today, she has been marking for the past few days..
So she said what she always said and done what she need to do.
And then suddenly Mr yeo said want to five us a break by making a few people come up and perform….he pointed me ot first…
I was totally shocked, not surprised…i wasnt ready for it and he just pointed me out. He didnt give me time to warm up, he just asked me to come out. I tried to calm down, try not to feel nervous. And then soon we start performing, halfway through, my fingers suddenly turn very cold and i have diffculties in playing my part until i came to a point where my mind turns blank. i was totally stunned but then,thank God, i managed to play the last few lines……..so embarasssed siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Yesterday i broke someone’s trust.This someone is…

Yesterday i broke someone’s trust.

This someone is a person whom i always disappoints and its not that i wanted it, who wants it anyway? This person is my stepmother. I failed her in small things. She is quick picky so i will always get scolded for not getting things  done or any other things. These things can be easily solved in a matter of time. But she cant wait so i always have to try to get everything done.
But yesterday there are no reason…seriously its all my fault.
My dad and stepmother had decided to go JB from sunday to tuesday for a short holiday break and they sent us to my grandparents house to stay over.
I went back home with my sister on monday to take some important stuff and once again on tuesday to take my school shoes
But i forgotten to do something, and the results of these irresponsible actions would be very severe. i didnt locked the door gate!
Thank God that my house is a pirvate proprety and not some HDB flat otherwise……..you know?
It is a stupid mistake that i made. And my stepmother knew about it as she was the one who found out that the door was not locked.
Scolded me, that is what she did of course but not really that bad as i just kept quiet. But i feel seriously down, i never ever want to make her piss off or what. I hate her scoldings the most so of coz i wont want to spite her.
Today wasnt so bad, in fact she treated me better…but i will never ever forget this incident. I will try to win back her trust and be more responsible. This whole week i will be having cca…gtg now,,bye

I am going to make  this a short post even t…

I am going to make  this a short post even though i want to post a lot…

Today i went to school for my overseas briefing but i wasnt really too keen as i didnt do what i was supposed to do…
But still went…and as i stepped down from the bus, i saw my 3rd sis..
She was walking right across the road..so i was planning to meet her…but in the end she went into a coffeeshop
So i decided to buy something and then meet her….
The overseas briefing wasnt that bad cause mr long never mention anything about the draft so i am fine….

Hi i am here again! Yesterday outing with fati…

Hi i am here again!

Yesterday outing with fatin was super fun! We met up at tampines mrt station and we went to buy movie tickets. After that we started to walk around, chit chat and i bought a CD. Right after that we were hungry and we dont know what to eat so we spent the next 20 minutes walking around. At first i suggested KFC but cannot find..sorry fatin for following me around non-stop. In the end we settle for pizza hut and we ate a lot. There were some funny moments but its quite embarassing to put it in words. Only fatin know hahas. Went to watch movie right aftere that and yeah its worth watching. Walked around and played arcade. I was super crazy playing in the arcade haha as i long time didnt go..so miss it. It is simply worth going out with her. Actually i could have pop in to long john sliver to visit my 3rd sis but yesterday she off dayy.
Just bought my new sec 3 books. Will be spending the next few days exploring it…haha. so yeah i guess i shall be stopping here..

Changed themes again


I changed themes again as i had mentioned in my previous post..yeah never contented. Anyway yesterday i went for the overseas briefing.
Call me kiasu or what..i left the house minutes before 1pm which is the appointed time as i am too eager to meet them. Saw amanda and angel while walking and we chit chatted. Supposed to meet at the computer lab 3 by 2pm and as amanda wanted to play games first, we went in earlier. To our surprise, we saw students from the korea trip using it as well. But we dont mind because it wasnt 2pm yet. After a while, i went out to check and i saw my family! Soon we moved to computer lab 4 and the overseas briefing started.
Mr long were telling us that we have to do a scrapbook adn he explained to us how to do it. I dont understand some areas like making a draft? Anyway once the briefing ended i went to pasar malam with my 3rd sis. The only thing she kept asking me to do is to bang walls! I am not so crazy, you know?
Today i am going out with fatin! I am so looking forward to it! We will be chatting non-stop haha! So i shall end here and be back tomorrow to update more!


Hi, dont know why. Recently when i have the urge to blog, i cant use the computer. And then when i use it, i dont have the feeling to blog..
What should i say here? Okay i wrote what happened yesterday////
Yesterday i was at home the whole day cause i have no guitar. So that means i have to study or read books..and it was super boring. I tried to keep myself awake the whole morning. Soon i can rest, used computer and chatted with my 2nd sis on msn and i learnt that i actually could join them in gym. When i heard that, it was too late….regret that is what i can only do.
Afternoon is also another boring one…cant imagine my life is so boring at home. Reading that is what i could do.
Mainly yesterday is a day where i felt so useless. But i thank God that today wont be so bad cause i need to go school in the afternoon for the overseas final briefing..look forward to see my ‘family’ again. I cant wait! Tomorrow i will also be going out with a friend to watch movies and friday i will be collecting my new books..so that is very good. i am looking forward to it. On next monday i will also have another debate session..so yeah.
It seems that everyone is afraid of my stepmum…hahas Did i describle her until to the point where they think she is some mad woman?? Let me reassure them that she is not really that scary unless i provoke her. So they have no cause to be afraid. I think i will be changing my blog themes again? Humans are never content with what they have. Like me, i want to have my handphone back! I thought that i could live without it but the desire still remains…
I also cant wait for next year. New friends, new classmates and new memories. And also new teachers, new subjects. Its like once again we are entering secondary school, but this time as a upper sec person. I will be very busy next year as syf is here. oh man! hahs anyway i want to go already so bye bye

Guitar lesson…

Hi, i went for guitar practise today..so

It was okay but i felt a bit gulity..you wanna know why? i still havent have the guitar pro version..okay shhhhh dont tell anyone.
Next practise will be on 25th november..so yeah its just a few weeks from now.

This is the day that the Lord has made

Good afternoon everyone,
Seriously i dont know how to start off but all i can say is that i am fine today. Drats, i sounded so boring………..
Okay let me start. I went to church today and defintely going to church is a good thing for me especially.
Today there is this indian pastor who came to my church and preach. When i first saw him, i was thinking that he is quite short. Oh man, o know i shouldnt made this tyhpe of comments, sorry ah. This is also the first time a indian pastor came to my church to preach so its quite weird.
He is called Pastor Steven. He is 48 years old but he looks younger than that and he is a funny guy. He preached about making the best out of evey problem. I am so happy to hear this message as it is good for everyone who have any problems.
I felt that i am putting on more weight especially after the overseas trip. i must try to lose weight already..haha.
Thanks Joana for your comments, i truly appreciate it and i do hope that we can be good friends. To say the truth i cant imagine you being so negative. Tomorrow got one more guitar lesson and yeah i must be fully awake this time..cant be too blur anymore

Previous Older Entries