What a day it is!

Today is the day where i am going to china…

If you ever asked me how to describe my mood now.. i dont know how to answer. All i know is that i am ready.
For the previous two nights, i couldnt sleep very well..i dont know why. Maybe i am nervous about this trip..?
I had been thinking a lot since the debate session. I am a thinker who thinks too much. I had been trying to figure out who i really am. Is my real character confident, outgoing, speaks well or a quiet, introverted person? Be yourself..that is what everybody says but i dont really know myself so how can i be? I am a very quiet person among people i am not familar with and on the other side i am a talkative and confident person among my close friends. So what should i be? The only thing that i am in constant with is the love of reading inspired books and quotes.
I am not a double-faced person. No way! i am just a person who is trying to find out my own real self and to fight my own emotional barrier. Defintely it will take time..
During the 2 minutes of self-introduction…i tried my best to stay calm. I told them my interests and my character..like i dont make the first move to make friends and blaaa..all of these are true. Once i sat down, suddenly i realised i could have said it better…this always happen to me for thinking too much. Maybe i am insecure..but people say i dont look like one. Cause of my physical looks. I dont know how i became insecure, senstive to what people say …maybe its due to  my stepmother. She always scold me..treat me like i am a jinx. I always try to please her but in the end got her scoldings..
I used comp for an 1 hr so gtg..will come back next thurs with my trip

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