Hi,Now my maid is currently arguing with my…

 Hi,

Now my maid is currently arguing with my sister..it all started all because my sister joke too much and she didnt realise that my maid is serious..
You can really spot the difference when i am at home compared to church or other places..also as well my sister//
Maybe its because we dont really know a lot of people outside..
So we become more quiet and at home we show our real side…
oh well i am not saying that i am being fake when i am outside but its just that i feel more comfortable when i am with people that i know well..
Ok today i feel like talking about my sister and i..our differences..similarites..

My sister is called valarie..4 years younger than me. This year she is in primary 4… She is a very expressive person, through her actions and everything that she does, you will know what she is currently feeling. She loves to crack jokes and act cute to my dad. Sometimes, she do wrong things at the wrong time..like cracking jokes when everyone is serious and she is stubborn.. I as her older sister sometimes feel jealous because i am not like her. I am not really a expressive person. I hardly show any love expression gestures to my dad and when i feel lonely or hurt..i dont show it. So my sister can make friends more easily and me..not so. I am not saying that i am worse than her..but in making friends.she is better. I did have my strengths..i am a loyal person and dont really gossip a lot..but then i am not those who can make up a conversation easily.. So this problem always hinder me all the time whenever i at school, church or home. of course it is not entirely but it still affects..
At church, i have a few friends whom i always talk to..but there are a few people whom i feel that i should try to strengthen this friendship. I take relationships seriously. So i dont quite like it when i will only talk to if we are in a team for games and other than that we become total strangers. There are and i am not blaming them, maybe its due to my own problem that i cant do it. From the start when i join the church, i wasnt that open..i was so quiet because i was shy. And maybe due to that i hardly get many friends and also due to that people have been making impressions of me which i dont know whether its good or bad. 
At school, i also got this problem..i got a few close friends and maybe 2 only. And you know there are times when friends do quarrel. And due to that one of them turned herself against me and spread out all my secrets to the whole class. I was seriously hurt and even though we had patched up in the end, i know that this friendship will no longer be the same again. My class is those types who hated studying and always hang out. Clothes, music that they talked about..i dont know so that is why i am not with them. So people will tend to bully me if i am alone and quiet. Oh well but now it will be better because i had approached a teacher and she has helped me.
Home is not much of a problem and now i am trying to open myself up slowly and it takes time..
Firstly i am battling this problem on my own and i do wish to overcome it. i want to really be myself and not be afraid of what others say.

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